Unfinished note.

Unfinished note.

I’m probably not going to finish this note...

Just like everything else…

And therefore the simple Title: Unfinished note.

P.S to Maya: this is not a back turn to the falsafeh world of mine that you hate. It’s merely a narrative text.

It’s been a while I haven’t posted anything here. And I should regretfully say… I write when I’m sad.

Just noticed, the way I write reflects the way I live! I don’t write paragraphs. I only write phrases and ideas... unfinished ideas that always remain unpolished and immature.
And so my life, my story, series of half hour episodes related only by the main character, yours truly.

Perhaps the guy running this whole show is specialized only in beginnings and suck at leading from there.

Perhaps after the beginning they get it off the air.

Seriously now. That’s my problem (alongside others); I can’t seem to figure out a way to get unfinished business finished. I run in circles around the finish line… too afraid to cross.

I can have the greatest time with someone, the longest chats. I can find the one I irrationally adore. Hell I can even find the one … the one. Try my best for a while and then swim back to shore, convinced that the shiny gold chest down there was only a spoon. (And oh how many spoons where lost)

Indifference, apathy, cowardice, hate, fear, arrogance, over rationalization, under rationalization, stupidity, unwillingness to take the plunge, grass is greener complex, superiority, inferiority, self consciousness, Masochism!!! May you all burn in hell, for stealing my life away!

Guess I’m sorry. All of you whom I have disappointed, me, also disappointed, for not trying as hard as I still believe I should, for letting opportunities fly by.

Maybe in the next life, maybe it’s only one brave act you do before you die that makes your life’s meaning.

Till then … truly yours

Nadeem.S